Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
My balls are so social today.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
