question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
