I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
