Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
