batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
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