i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Found the puke drawer
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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