i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
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