we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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