ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
