im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
