but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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