He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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