He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize