We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize