I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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