Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
