so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
