I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
God, you're like boner-b-gone
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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