I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
