Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
