I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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