My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Randomize
