I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize