Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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