dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
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