when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
