Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
