he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
It's not a walk of shame if you run
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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