Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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