nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
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