No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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