even my farts smell like vagina
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
