he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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