For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
