:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
she peed on how many people?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
