Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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