speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
