found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
the condom got lost in my hair
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
whose parrot is this?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize