Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
