super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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