you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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