I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
