I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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