Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
