ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
