i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
