Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
