i wish starbucks made bloody marys
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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