I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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