Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
She's the barista slut.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Randomize
