I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Randomize
