ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
