she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
