You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
