just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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