ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
