walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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