it wasn't lemon gatorade
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
