She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
