Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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