I hope mine doesn't look like that
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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