And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
