Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
you inspire me to be a worse person
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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