Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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