I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
