my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
