i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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