i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Randomize
