You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
